All posts tagged: love

Ring tone

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I was looking for somebody´s number in my phone today, and I found yours. I was in a hurry, rushing through the list I wished to complete by the end of the day, and there you were. In black and white on the screen. The letters of your name ringing out, as if you were still there. A name in my list of contacts. A cell phone number not dialled for some time, staring at me as if the signs and numbers themselves were eyes, had a presence. What would happen if I called you? If I let my fingers slide across the touch-screen, swipe the call – icon to dial your number? Would there be a ring-tone? And, if there were, how many? Would there be a click before the voicemail automatically switched on, at the end of that last ring-tone? Or would that last one end in silence? If you could pick up, what would you say? Would you tell me where you are? How you are doing? What you are doing? Would …

The Flower In The Storm

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“What´s in a name?” A question often asked, and just as often replied to. “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet” – an often used quote from Shakespeare´s Romeo & Juliet. A rose is always a rose, it knows it´s purpose , it does not need a name to define itself. For us human beings – or should I call us human thinkers maybe, as if we were really human beings would we really need to categorize and put names on things to explain what they are instead of feeling in the energy and give names by that 😉 ? – language and words are important. So there can be a lot in a name. If we choose to listen in and honour that name, that word, that picture , the vibration of the name or the word is synchronizing itself with us. Today I was blessed to have a chance encounter with a dear friend in town, as I was racing through the streets on my very fast blue bike. A …

Past Lovers

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Yesterday, in our monthly Writer´s Circle in den Haag, Kathy gave us a subject to write about that first made me cringe. It did that because a lot of things had to come out or be “written out” during this very time in my life, with the daily letting go of this place to move to the next place thousands of kilometres away from here. So thank you Kathy for making us write things out of our system! Here is my piece: When does a Love become a Past Love? This very moment, as the present takes over? Is past love, lost love? Can you love somebody more and love somebody less? Is there a less less or a less intense, a more less , or a more intense? Whatever it is, at this moment it hurts. It hurts because I find myself loving not just people, but moments with people. Past Loves, Past Lovers – what is the difference? When does Love turn into a Lover? When you Love, are you not a Lover …

Chocolate icecream

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February has been crazy busy. We are preparing to move countries, from NL to Sweden, this spring and looking for a house up there while simultaneously packing this house, which is already sold, up , setting  up a business up there while still running one down here, mindfully experiencing the letting go of all we have loved here and spending as much time as possible with all the beautiful people I  so deeply love and appreciate here while also getting excited about the adventure ahead, all of this is a bit of a roller coaster. So, some things have been lacking behind – like these blog posts 🙂 …! With spring around the corner, at least here in Holland, I wanted to share this amazingly yummy yet extremely healthy , anti oxidant packed home made icecream recipe. To me, there could not be any better day than the last day of February to share this recipe – as the first sign of spring here in Haarlem is when the Italian gelateria Garonne has opened, which …

For H….. – and for M

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You arrived with a bunch of our “season-friends”, smile from cheek to cheek as if you had swallowed the sun. My heart fluttered, euphoria “He is here”, “he really came” A wonderful summer could not come to a better end. More than a hundred very special people, connected in ways most outsiders never would understand gathered in the evening sun this day in August. Short speech, the bar open, the band playing, the buffet inviting everyone to celebrate. The air was alive, the hearts were filled to the brim, the beer was cold. “Will you come with me?” “Yes”, I whispered. Your hands were warm. “Tonight I have to host this party but tomorrow I am all yours. We have the rest of our lives ahead of us”. My words held a promise. Two souls, young, fearless and bright amidst this crowd of connected spirits, snowflakes being our glue. It is night. I lie here curled up against his body. My face drowning in his naked chest, my whole being shivering, quaking. I try to …

That

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Here I sit, naked in my body Though I am wearing clothes I am totally bare My flesh is bleeding, my joints are aching tears are burning behind closed eyelids But I am not this I am not this body, not this mind I am not these emotions, this anger, this frustration locked up in a cage I am not the tiger, the lion or the bird The curves bending on my road do not define me I am not alone, not lonely This bitterness and anger stuck in my throat is part of this body, of this mind maybe even of the experience of this soul But I am not this I am all pervading love, all pervading innocence I am the candle, the flame, the flickering I am the sky, the seas, the seeds Not as they are seen, how they are felt I am not this pain in my back, I am not the hungry stomach screaming for food while the heart is screaming for care, for forgiveness, for excuses and reasons …

Bonds

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Bonds formed in the heart are not always of the heart. We might think we created them in our heads, for whatever “use” or “commercial” reason, and when this “use” has run its course we break this bond from the head, only to realize it is stuck in the heart. It might be a thorn, or a full rose. It might be just a few petals, or the roots, or the stem. But it stays. These bonds nestle themselves in, growing their vines and leaves around our whole inner world, inner life, inner body. Around our organs, our existence, our inner being. Like a hug, and sometimes like a choke. Just like in the Indian legend where you are taught that it takes a thorn to remove a thorn it only takes one rose to grow a whole rosebush. Where every year the flowers are getting larger, the petals stronger, the stems sturdier and the reach is higher and higher towards the bright shining sun. As fall comes and the roses shrink in for their …